Ache

For the most part, I’m ok.
But then

a silence will settle and
an ache
will radiate
from the center of my ribcage

twisting lungs & larynx into suffocating lumps
curdling memories along the sour synaptic connection
     between digestive and cerebral systems
detonating dormant tear ducts

and surfacing
like a hundred subtle stab wounds
on my desolate skin.

Always & Forever

At some points I trust you completely,
naively.
At others, not at all—
jaded.

Who are you,
beautiful stranger?
And who am I?
And what is love?
And is it enough that we ask the same questions,
or must we wait for answers?

My heart and lungs run ahead
while my mind lags behind
and gets lost trying to find
reason in an unreasonable feeling.

A feeling I’ve felt before—
sort of
maybe
not quite.
No, never quite the same.

Is there
a First and a Last Love?
Is the quest for
One True Love
a fool’s errand illusion?

I want to imagine you have
no past
only a future
with me.
Because if we acknowledge our
past loves
that must mean that the
present love
is woefully un-unique
and could dissolve at any moment.

How can we trust anything in this ephemeral existence?

Sure, the cloud’s condensation cycles
down – in – up – around – through
the Earth and the Atmosphere
always
& forever.

It’s never gone.
But it’s never the same.

At some points I trust you completely,
naively.
At others, not at all—
jaded
evaporated
uncertain
and ever-changing.

Every Day

I think it’s silly that
in a world where
every day
people die senselessly
and suffer needlessly

we are afraid of
love

afraid to love
lest it be unreciprocated
or ill-fated,
truncated by circumstance
or fickle tides

afraid that love
is not what it seems
or does not exist at all,
merely desire masked by delusion
wrapped in egotistical empathy
delivered to broken doorsteps by false prophets.

And so what?

We live in a world where
every day
people die senselessly
and suffer needlessly.

The cruelty of the world
breaks my heart in a million ways
every day.

Why, today,
should I be afraid
to love?